Long Live All The Magic We Made

Alex wanted to take a different approach towards nature. She wanted to focus on its calming nature, so she thought of going in a very organic fashion, using very subdued and calm colors.
 
In her photo, Alex is walking in a corn field wearing what's shown, but and her hair is flowing behind her. She is shoeless. Her pose is her with her arms stretched out and her head up to the sky, her eyes closed, she looks almost mid-twirl.

Times are changing. So am I. I'm putting myself first because I deserve it.

Its Time has been my motivator this week.
 
I guess I'll go ahead and explain.
 
A friend of mine killed himself. He was 16. He wasn't bullied. He was the most popular boy at school. He was always smiling. He was always happy. And now he's not here.
 
That's tough, 7 years and then nothing. It's really, really tough. I manage to survive and get through each day, feeling alright for the most part. I have moments, but I'm doing okay.
 
I guess I came back from Christmas break knowing that and I need to put my mind somewhere. Because its really tough, and I hear people talk about my fake boyfriend, who was this boy's best friend, and I hear this boy's words in my ears. But no one understands this. No one understands that.
 
I need somewhere to put my focus. So I've been doing better at school. But I've also been really into rebuilding myself. I'm so tired of being pushed around. I want to be myself. I'm so afraid that my sister will hear something that I don't act myself. It's time to start though.

(you can start)
 
@always-the-tone-of-surprise

Merry Christmas everyone! A tradition here on polyvore is for me to write an individual message to every one of my friends here, so here goes this year of 2012's.
 
@julia-elizabeth You're my best friend. I know things are changing for us both, our groups are expanding, our lives aren't so intertwined, we're making new friends: new best friends. But you will always be my best friend, because you're more than simply my best friend. You're like a sister to me. You're like, my other half. Not in a romantic way, but like when together, we can finish each other's sentences. We get each other. I love you, Julia. Merry Christmas to you and your entire family.
 
@caroline-the-prep Caroline, thank you. Thank you for understanding me when it seems like the rest of the world just wants me to shut up and stand in a corner. Thank you for letting me listen to you about your life, instead of just me talking about mine.
 
@katylinfeelsunpretty Things are tough for you, and I'm sorry. I believe in you though. I know you're going to do amazing things. God is watching over you and He has a plan and you're apart of that plan, just remember that. Everything that happens is somehow apart of God's plan for us.
 
@lambette Kasey, I miss you. I hope you get your life organized so you can come back soon and be your totally awesome self again.
 
@foreverandalways-emma Emma, what can I say to you? I love you. You're hilarious and the best.

It's been a while, and again for that, I apologize. I've just been a bit overwhelmed as of recently.
 
I feel my life changing all the time. Its not going to be stable and simple. I understand that, and I accept that. That's the life of a teenage girl. It's never simple, it's never easy, but I have to appreciate this happiness while I have it, because there will never be another time in my life where it'll be like this.

Hello darlings,
 
I'm sorry, it's been quite some time. I guess I'm writing to explain why. A quarter of the school year is now over, and it's truly changed my life. I realized that as I visited my old school today. The same kids were there. The same kids were pretty annoying. The same kids were being friendly. It was like nothing had changed for them, because nothing had. But I have changed. I've grown up a lot, I've had to grow up, not only because of high school but because of changes in my personal life. I know, I am never going back there again. Today, it might as well have been my goodbye. Because I realized I don't belong anymore. That's not my home anymore. It was my home for 9 years, but now, it's just not. My home's changed.
 
So I guess, adapting to all that change has been taking up all my time as of lately. I'll try to make sets more often.
 
Love Always,
Kate

Life is crazy.
 
I'm sorry I haven't been around much.
 
I'm just trying to figure out my own life right now.
 
In the past two months, I've made some really great new friends. Friends that mean the world to me. And for those of you who know me, you know that there is still drama. Drama that probably bugs me more than any of my old drama ever did. But truth is, I don't care. This is so much better than before.
 
Yes, I've lost a lot of the people who once were really close to me, but I'm doing okay. At first it hurt a lot that they left my life. Did this just agree with the notion in my head that I'll never be enough? I thought yes, but then, I started to try harder to forget them. And it was hard. And I couldn't forget. So then I'd just try and contact them again. And that would only bring me pain. And then one day, I just entirely stopped and decided to commit to myself and my life now. And slowly, the pain went away. I'm not wanting them so much. I've finally given up on a crush that could never go anywhere. I've given up on him for once and all. I've given up on all of them. I've given up on some of the people who were my best friends. Because I can't take the type of pain that they'd caused me.
 
So I wouldn't go back to when they were in my life and their drama. I want to stay like this. Because I'm happier like this, because I know, even with all the drama, I do have people I can always rely on. I've been more open with these people, than people I knew for 9 years. I feel like I can be myself and completely open. So here's to the change that I've been spending the past few weeks figuring out.
 
Stay safe everyone.
 
Kate

This song is so beautiful. I'm so excited for this album. I just know it's going to be gorgeous. If Begin Again and Ronan aren't beautiful songs, then nothing is.
 
So I guess I feel like blogging. I had my first Congress tournament this Saturday, which is a big deal for me. When I got up to speak, I was shaking. Afterwards, I wondered why was I so nervous, I'd spoken in public before, why was I shaking so much?
 
Because for the past 9 years, I was placed in an environment where truly I never felt safe. I knew nothing seriously bad would happen to me there, but socially, I did not. I became afraid constantly of what people would think of me. As much as I'd like to say I don't care, I still do, but I care more than most people because of the environment I was in. It was one where I had reason to be paranoid because people actually would backstab you all the time. It didn't matter whether they were your friend or not.
 
So now, I think back on those 9 years I was so thankful for just three months ago, and I see that while it gave me good, it has given me so many obstacles I have to overcome that I wouldn't have otherwise.
 
I am glad that I'm branching out of there, I need too. I see now that I am so much more than what I was there. I can make friends very easily, I can talk to guys, and hang out with them outside a school building. I can be a great speaker. I can be a singer. I can be more than simply smart. I can be anything I want to be now that the opportunities have opened up to me. I can be more than I ever was there.
 
I can be so great, I just need to get over these obstacles. I'm already so much more than I was there. It can only get better.

Ah, I haven't made a set in so long, I'm so sorry. I've just been so busy. I'm trying to find a way to balance grades, extra-curriculars, sleep, and social life. It's beginning to be possible, but I do have to make sacrifices and social networking is what I tend to sacrifice. I try to get on as much as possible.
 
Today, I had my first tournament. I hit my goal, which I admit was a low goal, but whatever. I got to meet a few of the people my sister has always spoken of, and I got to spend a little bit of time with some girls that I never get to see. I also got to see an old family friend that I hadn't seen in a while, he's so sweet and such a talented guy. He's truly amazing, cannot believe he was the awkward, loud nine year old.
 
It was pretty good. I love my school. I have friends of all ages, it's great.
 
Xoxox,
Kate.